Thankful to be Frazzled

I am a frazzled mother. I sit here listening to my 3 year old cry because suddenly she is starving at bedtime, I just reassembled 2 beds that were torn apart children who were 'playing', their bedroom is an organizer's dream (as in, they can't wait to get their hands on it), and I'm exhausted. And I think, what am I going to do when the baby is here? I need a plan of attack. How do mothers of large families do it?! THAT is what my mission has become: To find out how large families function.

I know that this is going to challenge me. I hate schedules. I'm creative, I like to do what sounds attractive at the time. I have a list usually in my head, but no apparent order to it. It drives my husband nuts. I like the freedom. But I need a routine. I think there is a difference. Routines are an order, schedules are locked in times to accomplish said activities. At least, that's what I tell myself to make me feel better.

I've been reading a new blog, Raising Arrows. It appeals to me. I have always been intrigued by the verse that talks about that verse in the Bible that talks of children being a blessing.

Psalm 127: 3-5 says,

“Behold, children are a heritage from the LORD,

The fruit of the womb is a reward.

Like arrows in the hand of a warrior,

So are the children of one’s youth.

Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them;

They shall not be ashamed,

But shall speak with their enemies in the gate.”

Amy at Raising Arrows shares how her family of 5 children function and live life to the fullest in a small family world of thought. I am learning it is a great resource for multiple parts of our lives, from family life, to grieving the loss of a child, to homeschooling (yes, she homeschools all 5 children, she must be my hero!). I still haven't explored all of it, but have been checking it out often this weekend.

I started the beginnings of a routine (not a schedule, you see!) this morning, by having everyone up by 8 (my goal is 7), and dressed by 10 (we are easing into it!). We were doing really well until my pregnant self decided to remind me that I had been awake since 5:30, and was exhausted when, at 10:30 am, I had showered, fed everyone breakfast, started laundry (2 loads, in fact!), stripped and made a bed, bathed two giggling girls, and vacuumed a living room/hallway/dining room. That was when I decided it was time for some free play so Mommy could take a rest. One of those "I'm sleeping but I can still hear what's going on" kind of naps.

Then the day sort of went back to my "do what needs to be done at this very moment routine." And ended with children ripping clean, freshly washed sheets, feather bed, mattress cover, and foam pad off of my bed, while I thought they were playing so well in their own room. I almost lost it.

But then I remembered the sermon Pastor John shared yesterday, particularly the main verse.

"Give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."
1 Thessalonians 5:18

And I thought, "Its really hard to be thankful when I am irritated, Lord!" "I know," is the answer I heard in my heart. "Oh, so now you want me to be thankful that I have to put two children in time out and remake my bed?!" "Yes." Ouch.

You see, I have children and stuff to be frazzled over. I am thankful for that. I am thankful for a bed that has to be remade. I am thankful for giggling children. I will even be thankful that even after they were put in their rooms for tearing my bed apart, they tore their beds apart as well. I am thankful for children who love to take beds apart. (well, I will be, when I relax a little!)

After all the pregnancy troubles and losses I have been through, I know that these girls are two huge miracles in my life.

And I am thankful to just be a frazzled, hormone loaded, pregnant mother right now.