Psalm 40:11

Do not withhold your mercy from me, Lord;
    may your love and faithfulness always protect me.

Psalm 40:11

Psalm 34:8

 "Taste and see that the Lord is good;
    blessed is the one who takes refuge in him."

Psalm 34:8 (NIV)

Thoughts from the In Between

The In Between.  That's where we are at.  Repeatedly, Scott and I have this conversation about how I am struggling to keep our house clean, and why.  And it ends in, we are maintaining while we are in the In Between.  In Between what, you ask?  Well, home.  Job.  Debt. 

I don't blog because we (Or I) have been in survival mode.  I struggle each week just to get the house clean enough for Bible Study.  Just cooking is a huge task.  I tried all week to make a menu and shopping list.  I finally got it done, but I haven't put the meals together yet.  (I chose to make a list of freezer meals that I could put together and then pull out of the freezer and cook).  Then there are dishes to be done, and everything to be put away.  And there is not enough counter space to do dishes and cook at the same time. 

We daily feel the pull to be back in ministry full time.  We just aren't sure what that looks like.  We are very....  careful about the type of church we want to be a part of.  And personally,  I like the roots we have put down here.  While I know we will be in ministry at some point, I want to also enjoy the life we have now. 

Currently we are working on getting out of debt.  We are finally getting traction there.  All the medical bills are paid off, the student loan for a masters degree is almost done, and our credit cards are put away and combined into a low interest loan.  We are cash only, and I like it.  I listen to Dave Ramsey nearly daily.  Bianca has gotten to where she asks if we can listen to it.  And when we are out shopping, and she asks for something, if I say no, its not in our budget, she immediately asks if it's so that we can "yell on Dave Ramsey?"  I love it! 

Our home is... small, but enough.  I can't say I don't wish for more space.  We are a family of 5 living in a two bedroom apartment.  We stay here in order to work out our debt pay off more quickly.  But it is not easy.  We have the equal of at least three rooms in our one living space.  Try keeping that clean and picked up.  Three kids' toys.  The kitchen table.  An office.  And everything else you would have in your living area.    I am learning the difference between giving myself grace and giving myself an excuse.  Some days are better than others.  Some days I wish for the clean, neat home that I had when we were a family of 4 in our three bedroom ranch.  I miss it.  I will be SO grateful and appreciative when we finally have a full sized home. 

It is only by grace that we are here.  We could have chosen another, easier path, but we may not have been following God's plan for our lives.  It is hard, and yet, we have learned and grown so much in our spiritual lives.  I just have to remind myself of these things.  Often. 

I'm not having a light bulb moment here.  I'm just sharing what's real in our lives right now.  Its hard.  Sometimes, it is not fun.  But its life.  I'm with my family.  I love them. 

Blessed

Blessed.  
We hear it all the time. 
"I am so blessed to have this." 
"She is so blessed to have done that." 
"Bless you." 
"Bless your dear heart." 
And my all time favorite, "Bless her heart,..."  You know what always follows that. 

But what does it mean?  What does it really mean to be blessed?  What does the word "blessed" really mean? 

The word bless, and other various forms of it, appears in the Bible 522 times.  And yet, many of us could not give a clear definition of its meaning. 

Webster says this:

1. Give a benediction to; "The dying man blessed his son".[Wordnet] 2. Confer prosperity or happiness on.[Wordnet] 3. Make the sign of the cross over someone in order to call on God for protection; consecrate.[Wordnet] 4. Render holy by means of religious rites.[Wordnet] 5. To make or pronounce holy; to consecrate.[Websters] 6. To make happy, blithesome, or joyous; to confer prosperity or happiness upon; to grant divine favor to.[Websters] 7. To express a wish or prayer for the happiness of; to invoke a blessing upon; -- applied to persons.[Websters] 8. To invoke or confer beneficial attributes or qualities upon; to invoke or confer a blessing on, -- as on food.[Websters] 9. To make the sign of the cross upon; to cross (one's self).[Websters] 10. To guard; to keep; to protect.[Websters] 11. To praise, or glorify; to extol for excellences.[Websters] 12. To esteem or account happy; to felicitate.[Websters] 13. To wave; to brandish.[Websters] 14. Base verb from the following inflections: blessing, blessed, blesses, blesser, blessers, blessingly and blessedly.[Eve - graph theoretic]

Its been on my mind a lot lately.  I've heard it all of my life, but for some reason, I've been contemplating its actual meaning.

Many times we use it in reference to material objects, such as a person is blessed because they have nice things, or even one nice thing.  Or a home.  Or a wonderful family.  But what about the Christians in the world who have nothing?  Are they blessed?  If you asked them, I bet they would say yes. 

I remember a time when I thought that a person who had it all, had it all together, must be really blessed, and the Lord must be showing favor on them.  And it was something I strived for. 

But not anymore.  After all we have been through in our short (nearly) ten years of marriage, I would say I am utterly blessed.  

And I definitely don't have it all together. 

We've experienced loss of babies who never got to be held in our arms, but will always be in our hearts.
We've experienced loss of loved ones.
We've had financial difficulty. 
We've been uprooted too many times to count for ministry.
We struggle and wonder if we are doing the right things for our children.
We wonder what is next?
I've wondered how much control God has in this world.
I've questioned his plan for our lives.
I've doubted my own capabilities to handle what we've been through.
I wonder why God allowed me to have these three beautiful children.
I wonder often how I'll survive another day!

And yet through all of this, I've come to the other side knowing that no matter what happens, I will serve the Lord.  I trust that my life is in His hands.  And I am blessed.  Beyond all measure.  

I am blessed because I have hope and joy, independent of my outward circumstances.  I have found the place from where it comes, Jesus, and I will follow him, no matter the cost.  


What does the word "blessed" mean for you?  How have you experienced it in your life?

Hop over to Gratituesday at Heavenly Homemakers and see what others are sharing about God's provision and care. 

Psalm 27:1

"The LORD is my light and my salvation-

whom shall I fear?

The LORD is the stronghold of my life-

of whom shall I be afraid?"

Psalm 27:1

Wednesday Wonderings

We REALLY enjoyed our spring break last week!  The weather was PERFECT, and we were out and about as much as possible.  I have LOTS of pictures to show you, and other things to share, but I don't have time to get them together right now.  I'll get it done soon, I promise!

So today, I just thought I would share with you what I've been reading, thinking about, and where I've been wasting my time.  Also, I'll note that while I do not usually comment on the political issues, today is one of those days where I'm putting it out there. 

• I am always challenged by the posts at Keeper of the Home.  No matter what is posted over there, it makes me think, wonder, and consider if I am doing the best for my family.  Today is a post about 10 Ingredients to Make From Scratch.  I do cook from scratch, but I haven't gotten this far in my tiny kitchen, though in the past I have made salsa, pasta sauce, and once, a cream soup.  Its just not something I regularly do.  
• This post is a link I ran across in an email newsletter I received yesterday.  While I am not Catholic, nor do I live in Rhode Island, I find it a very interesting read with many valid points.  I do not often get political on here, but this is well stated.  
• The issue of birth control being publicly provided is a hot topic.  Its not just about birth control or women's health, however.  Its so much more.  The various types of birth control include contraceptives that can cause life threatening side effects, embryo killing drugs, and sterilization.  It also forces me, as a tax payer, to provide this with my money, and as a Christian, I cannot financially and conscientiously support these abortion causing drugs, not to mention the financial costs to a government who is already sinking in debt.  Many have been asking where the women are on this issue, and I came across this open letter to President Obama, Secretary Sebelius, and Members of Congress that you can add your name to if you are in agreement.

• On a MUCH lighter note, I really like this dress, and am thinking about making it.  The great debate is what size, mainly because I want it to fit my girls, and I'm not sure how long it will take me to complete two of them.  Oh, and the yarn, because I would have to search out my own; the yarn used in the pattern is 'mucho dinero.'

• Bella told me last night that she wants this basket for Easter, which is two weeks away.  Not sure if I can pull that one off either!  It is a crochet pattern, if you are interested.
• And I found it on Pinterest.  I am in love with Pinterest!  Its such a great place to find ideas and tips for things I would never have thought of on my own.  And while I'm sure that the companies love us posting their items, it is still a sticky situation when it comes to pinning other people's blogs and ideas.  That is something Pinterest needs to work on.  P.S.  You can follow me here :O)

Making My List and Checking It Twice

Hey Ya'll!  We've been having some quite unusually warm, summer-like weather for March here in Kansas, and since it coincided with spring break, we have been thoroughly enjoying it.  And panicking about clothing, but enjoying it none the less.

The weather got me thinking about Bella's.... issue... (you can read about that here, here, and here), and thinking it's time to do something about it.... again. 

I've tried before to get her moving, but various things we've tried have not worked, or if they do, work too well, if you get my drift.  And with swimming pool season upcoming, I don't want her to be worried or embarrassed by the.... situation. 

I'm looking for natural answers here, so I'm thinking about taking her to the chiropractor soon, but first changing up her diet.

We're talking major changes, and she may quite possibly starve, if she continues to be so stubborn.  (I promise she'll be okay, believe me, the kid will eat when she gets hungry enough).

I made am working on my shopping list, and here's what it looks like:

 

I purposely split my list this way (categories:  meat, fresh, frozen, canned, dairy, and processed) so that I can be aware of how much of each I'm purchasing, and keep processed and dairy to a minimum.  New strategy.  I'll let you know how I like it.  

I'm still looking for breakfast solutions.  I'm trying to limit her grains as much as possible, which will be difficult for a girl who lives on peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, grilled cheese, granola bars, waffles, and pop tarts.  

This is going to be quite the change.  Maybe it will even make her like her sister more.  he he.  They get along really well, actually, except when they don't, and Bella gets moody.  Sometimes I think she is 6 going on 16 with that attitude she likes to give us previews of...  

I digress.  We've been eating a lot more healthy since we started watching the budget more closely.  Scott has lost weight, I've managed to not gain what I lost when I was sick.  But we still have work to do.  We'll see how this week goes.  Wish me luck!  

What are your kids' favorite meals?  What do they eat for breakfast?