Who are YOU?

So I'm just wondering... Who are you? There are some of you who check this regularly. I know who some of you are, but others have me puzzled! Who is in Peoria? That one has really got me! I have had visitors from countries and cities I have never heard of, and I love learning about each of you. So share with your location, how you stumbled into my area of blog world, and include your website too! I want to check you out!:)

Also, I have posted a bunch of pictures on Shutterfly's sharesite, so if you are interested, send me a note, and I'll add you as a member!

silent tears

Well, I promised to be honest through this process of losing our little one. I've been struggling lately. I'm not really sure why. Its just been a hard two weeks, and continues to be. This morning at church was the hardest. A few people at church are pregnant and due around the same time I was or within a month or two. I'm very excited for them, but its also hard for me to see that, and think that is where I would be. So many people ask how I am doing, and I can tell that they aren't ready to hear what is really going through my mind. Those that I would share that information with don't really understand because they've not been through this before. Then I start a pity party because they've never been through this, why do I have to go through this? Why can't I just talk to one person who is also dealing with this? I know that even if someone has experienced this, there really isn't anything they can say or do to make it better. It's just so frustrating. I mentioned to someone (I felt safe sharing with) this week that I am still really dealing with the loss of our baby, and they were surprised by that?! I am dealing with the loss of a baby, a child in our family. I will admit, previously I have recovered more quickly from our losses, but this time I was closer to half way through my pregnancy at 15 weeks, and I had made many plans. I had begun to think of names, nursery decor, and plan our summer according to have a baby. Now I am in those days that I had planned to be getting clothes and baby things ready, and instead my womb is empty.

I mentioned previously that we were having testing done on the baby to see what caused the miscarriage. The results are in, and they don't really help us to know why we have had three out of five pregnancies end in miscarriage. The baby had an extra set of chromosomes, and could not survive with that. That is one of the leading causes of miscarriage, so it does not raise our risk for miscarriage. Now we are waiting to find out if our insurance will cover genetic testing on each of us to see if there is anything that could have come up in the other pregnancies that miscarried. Previously, they were chalked up to just something that happens, but three is enough to start looking into and questioning why this would happen to what seems like a healthy couple.

I guess I am sharing this because I want others to understand what I and others who may go through this are dealing with. I need you to continue to pray for me and my family. Pray for peace and comfort, for friends with whom I can share and have true understanding.

Recently....

I am working on updates, I promise! I am enjoying the fresh spring air, and getting my house ready for summer. In the meantime, here is what we have been up to, and what you can expect to hear about soon....

• We went to the circus! There were lions, tigers, tight rope walkers, acrobats, and trapeze artists!
• I made my favorite dish, Lasagna Toss, and took pictures for YOU!
• I attended Hearts at Home conference in Bloomington, IL.
• I got very irritated with my insurance company, and still haven't resolved my issue.
• I've been trying new recipes!
• Memaw visited this weekend...
• My mother in law and I beat my dear hubby at HORSE:)
• We've been painting and preparing our house to sell! Movin' on up!
• Getting my craft room fully set up and functional (FINALLY!)
• Thinking about another blog on homekeeping...

So we've been very busy! What have you been up to??

Stay tuned!

I just realized its been a week! Wow! Well, as soon as I find the cord to my camera, I'll make a post that will overwhelm you with pictures! (I put the cord away where I decided it belongs, and now I can't remember that spot!)

Question #3: How is Bella doing?

Rachel over at A Romantic Porch asked the third and final question. Rachel is a friend I have gotten to know through various youth activities at church. She is mother to three children, two teenage boys and one little princess, whom my Bella absolutely adores! Rachel is a very wise mom I have turned to with questions over the past three years. She is also a wonderful seamstress and creative home decorator. Check out her site to see some of her ideas! There are things I would never think of over there!

Rachel wants to know how Bella is doing with going potty. If you will remember, we had to take Bella to the doctor to get her going again. I will spare you the details today, but you can read them here.

We have managed to get her to go potty more regularly. Now if only we can get her to actually go on the potty! She prefers her underwear. There have been a few victories, but when she really has to go and work at it, she likes to hide.

Currently she is on Benefiber every day. We ran out of Miralax last week. I'm trying to see how she does without it. She was taking a half dose every other day. We have also gotten her to try a few new things this week. She values her sweets greatly, so the deal is if she takes one bite of said vegetable, she can have something after dinner. This week, she has tasted ham, corn, and fried potatoes. She actually made a meal of the potatoes. We made celebrated that! I know they don't have a lot of nutrition in them, but its a start of her trying something new and discovering she liked it! She has also been limited to one PB&J a day, and supper is what everyone else is having.

So, she is making some progress! Yay!

Cloth Diaper How-To

I received some questions pertaining to the cloth diaper post, and I decided to include the answers here on my blog. You can also find a lot of answers to any questions at Cotton Babies. I just LOVE that site. Have I mentioned that before?:)

1. How do you wash them? Detergent? Bleach? Vinegar? In loads by themselves?

First, you have to start with a good detergent that is free of dyes and perfumes. I started out using baby detergent, but found that this didn't work and was not highly recommended by the expert cloth mamas! I ended up ordering Allens Natural detergent, and almost died when it cost $50 after shipping for a gallon. A gallon!! But, it lasted a year (literally, January to January)! And if you have a high efficiency washer, it will last even longer.

I always do two washes with my diapes. First on cold/cold, then on hot/cold, with an extra rinse. Dry on low heat or hang dry and finish in the dryer. And, yes, they are washed completely separate from our other clothes.

Occasionally I throw in a little bit of bleach with the diapers, but not often.

2. I noticed there's a price difference between the two larger sizes of flats but the dimensions are the same...is one more absorbent than the other? Do you find one (chinese vs. indian) to be a little better overall? It said on the website that indian was a lot softer.

You are exactly right. The Premiums are more absorbent. They recommend these for heavy wetters. Personally I just wanted the extra assurance that it would be there! It has two extra layers in the middle section (6 vs. 8).

My biggest debate in buying cloth wasn't which diaper to buy or how many, but whether to get Indian or Chinese flats. I think I actually lost sleep over this! I finally decided to get 6 Indian and 6 Chinese, so I could see for myself. While Indian is little bit softer, its not enough to notice the difference. I have to look at the thread to tell the difference (yes, I even tried it with my eyes closed!) After using them for a year, I haven't seen any wear on the thread, either. I bought the unbleached diapers, just in case you are wondering. It helps hide any stains, though there are very few!:)

Oh, and I almost panicked when I received the diapers. They were huge! But they shrink up when you wash them the first time (before wear), and they will look more like what you expect after they are pre-washed.

3. Have you ever used the flats and covers overnight with much success?

We have used a flat and cover a couple times overnight. Bianca woke up soaked, as in wet on her skin, but it didn't leak! The difference with the BumGenius diapers is that it has a layer that pulls the moisture away from the skin like disposables do, so that the baby isn't waking up due to feeling uncomfortable from being wet.

4. I've heard great things about BumGenius all-in-one but some of the reviews say they start to smell after a while. Have you noticed this? My first thought was to just get all BumGenius and skip the flats, but they're a little pricey and I don't want to be stuck with a bunch of stinky diapers!

The diapers do get a little smell to them after a while, but it is easily taken care of with a process called stripping the diaper. The smell is due to build-up on the diaper. Diaper cream can cause this, along with other things. I'm not sure what causes it when we don't use any diaper cream, but it happens. I strip the diapers about once every 3 months.

To strip the diaper, you do two washes on hot with a tablespoon of Dawn dish soap each time, then rinse until there are no suds. It usually takes around 5 rinses for me.

5. What do you do with the diapers when you're out and about and have to change...especially a stinky one?! ;) And at church in the nursery?

We carry something called a wet bag (a small one, about 8 x 10). This is a water resistant bag with a draw string. I dump the stinky in the toilet if possible, fold the diaper up just like a disposable and stick it in the bag. The bag holds 3-4 BumGenius diapers, or 2 flat diapers and covers.

When I take Bianca to nursery, I always make sure she is in a BumGenius diaper, or that someone back there is old enough or experienced enough to know how to put a flat and cover on! They just fold the diaper up and stick it in the bag.

6. When you're changing diapers at home, where do you put the wet and dirty ones? In a diaper pail with water and bleach?

I have never used a wet pail! We started out with just a wet bag (one of the big ones!) on the floor, but soon discovered that it is indeed water-resistant, not water-proof. So I bought a trash can with a pedal that raises the lid, and put the bag in that as a liner. However, I also soon learned that I had been washing the bag incorrectly (this one takes no bleach and no heat), and it stunk! So now we have the trash can in the garage (wishing I had a laundry room!) and just rinse it out each time I dump diapers in the washer (Until I decide to order a new bag!).

As far as dirty diapers, I wash them off in the toilet with the diaper sprayer. I love that thing, especially before the baby is on solid foods. Now I can pretty much shake it off and throw it in the pail.

7. How do you make your wipes? What solution do you use?

I made my own wipes from flannel. I cut rectangles out and folded them in half, then sewed a simple stitch around the edge and a few lines through the middle to make it flat (sorta quilted). Very simple, as I have only sewn straight lines before.

For the wipe solution, I use two cups of water, two tablespoons of baby oil, and two tablespoons of baby wash. I like to get lavender scented baby oil and wash to make it smell so good! I fold the wipes so that they pop up out of the warmer, and pour the solution over them. I keep some dry ones for going out, and got a small spray bottle from the travel section of the store to keep the solution in. When I change a diaper while out, I either spray the wipe or the rump, depending on how dirty it is!

Question #2: Cloth Diapers

Julie is another mom I met through MOPs. I have learned a lot from her about natural foods. She and her family have been on quite a journey with her middle son, Brendon, being diagnosed with Medulloblastoma at age 3 in 2006. After a long fight, Brendon went to play and dance with Jesus in October last year. Julie still keeps us all up to date on their caring bridge site. She has lived in three (I think) different countries, and has friends and family from near and far!

Julie asked how we like cloth diapering. I LOVE IT! I cringe every time I have to buy disposables (which we do occasionally for trips, etc). Cloth diapers have undergone a metamorphosis, and they are wonderful things now! These are not your mama's diapers!When we are at home, we do use the flat diapers (half chinese, half indian, but I don't notice the difference) with covers that you imagine when you think "cloth." However, they are oh so much better than the Gerber things you use for burp cloths! Safety pins are a thing of the past; we use Snappis, stretchy y-shaped things that have grippers on the three ends. The covers are not elastic pants that leak all over you. The covers are PUL material (waterproof and lightweight) that velcro on just like pampers. I have never had a one (that was put on correctly) leak. Even when I forgot to bring a diaper and we were out longer than I planned, and the diaper weighed 5 pounds when we took it off!
When out and about, I prefer to use BumGenius one size diapers. These are the cloth version of pampers. They are baby shaped, and have velcro tabs. The great thing is you can adjust their absorbency by adding the stuffing yourself. There is a slit in the back of the diaper where you insert a rectangular piece of cloth into the diaper. We use one during the day, and two at night. We always use these diapers at night. Its outer layer pulls the moisture away from the tushy, so they aren't waking up uncomfortable, needing a diaper change in the middle of the night. These are adjustable in size, so I was able to test this diaper on Bella at age 2 1/2, and use the same one on Bianca at 3 months. We don't have to buy any new diapers! They are also awesome with their customer service, answering my questions, and even replaced our 9 diapers because the velcro had frayed, even after they were a month past warranty! I have not had that problem with their new one size diapes (BG 3.0).

Our diaper stash is cost effective. We did not buy the fancy embroidered diapers, or a bunch of unnecessary things. We have 9 BumGenius one size diapers, and a dozen flats with 5 covers. I made cloth wipes using discount flannel from Walmart, and also used some of this to make some liners in the case of needing diaper rash cream (Liners are required for this b/c the cream will cause build-up on the diapers.). We do have the diaper sprayer, and I love it. I never have to swish or soak the diapers in the toilet! It took two months of not buying disposable diapers and wipes to recoup what we spent on the stash.

As far as laundry, I mentioned previously, we ALWAYS have laundry going, so I didn't notice adding diapers to it. I do diapers about every other day. It requires two wash cycles and one rinse. We did not notice our water bill increasing when we started this, either.

I only wish we would have started with Bella in cloth. We discussed it, but there was too much transition in our lives, and I was overwhelmed with nursing for the first time. I don't recommend putting pressure on yourself and starting at the hospital with the first baby! This is something most people should ease into and enjoy!